Failing is not the option

So, today has been a horrible day.   It started off GREAT though, which is the sucky thing.  Go into work, do some tests, find out I did better that anyone who applied, and toured my new work building.  My dad even said he would loan me money to get a bike so I can bike to work!  

Then, life just started going downhill.  I was having a good time with Kelsey, despite her posting my Kik username on Tumblr saying I’m DTF.  I CANNOT tell you how many dick pictures I’ve gotten sent to my phone tonight. Blech.  

Then I made the mistake of logging onto my email.  Two emails just devastated me.  The first was saying I was academically dismissed.  Which even though I’m above a 2.5 GPA and was “sick” all semester, it still wasn’t good enough. 

I hate that feeling, not being good enough for people.  I feel it way too often. 

The next email said I had until June something or another to turn in my laptop.  Just a second reminder that I failed at life and got kicked out of school.

My adviser is calling me tomorrow before training at work and is going to try to help me sort things out. I don’t know what can be done, but I guess I can just hope to be allowed back in school.  I am supposed to graduate soon.  Sadface.

Then, I’m really sad, and told Dipak.  Really hoping for a “I’ll be right over to make sure you’re okay”  or even just showing up at my door.  I would do that for him in a heartbeat if something was wrong.  Maybe he just didn’t understand how scared I am.  Or how let down I feel with myself.

So I try to play some music, and low and behold…my stereo won’t work.  No problem right, I’ll just take it apart and see what’s wrong.  NOPE, the damn screwdriver is too thick and I can’t get to the screws.  

Going to get booze now.  Failing is not the option, but drinking about my shitty day is.


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