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I rekindled with an old flame tonight, but it just felt wrong.  He wanted me to stay with him for the night…I said no.  He asked if we could do something together if I didn’t want to rush things.  I still said no.  It doesn’t feel right.  Maybe I just still have hope for Dipak.  I guess I will wait for July third to pass…and once that is done…I will know that I was just something for him to throw away.  Something to pass his time while waiting for Amy….and I can’t tell you how much that hurts to think about after giving him a part of me I can never give anybody else. Ever.

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